Sometimes the only way to discover where you are is to leave….
It’s been a few years, two apartments, countless decisions and too many experiences to recount here, but I finally feel like like this is a good place to say hello again, a place where I can offer something, even if only a bemused thought. A full-time job and a full-time life in New York can easily make you feel as though you’re still not doing enough, not contributing enough, not creating enough. I so easily immersed myself in this world just long enough to feel as though I had little left in my day that could be just mine and so there it went, the need to record, to share, to throw something out into the void and hope that it sticks somewhere.
This glorious, towering, schizophrenic, indulgent, and often challenging place grates on my nerves and also makes me smile to myself during the most inconsequential moments that are rendered so beautiful because ultimately, they could only happen here. It took five days in my home state of Florida to recognize how much I love this city and it’s sense of purpose, it’s ability to continue to reveal itself to you, no matter how long you’re here. I was so ready to leave and take a break from the frenetic tension for a few days, to get out and escape, to be in a place of open spaces and languid nothingness. Always wondering where else I could live, where else I could be happy, I was suddenly surprised to wake up to the yawning sun’s glow reaching through my curtains this morning and feel content to be back, excited that this is my home. As soon as I let this gratitude take root, the day took on a new turn, curiosity where there was irritation, ease where there was exhausted effort, and just like that, I’m in love again.
The walk past coffee shops on sleepy mornings, late evening museum visits, chance encounters with friends in the middle of the week, picnics in Central Park, and indiscernible languages in passing– there are so many things that fill me with pride and the thrill of all that has yet to be explored. One day I may leave New York, but for the moment this is my home, the place I chose to create a life and I hope to continue to see the beauty in the minutiae that often escapes us during routine. And as long as I notice and delight in this uniqueness, I’ll try my best to share a small piece of it with you here and there so that you may see the beauty in your day, the special little moments that make up a life. Let’s see how it goes…